The Soft Shift: How Retreats Help Us Remember Who We Are

I spent the weekend in Mount Modana in CA with my longest friend from the 5th grade. Cory Muscara has been one of my greatest teachers the last couple of years. The weekend was full of learning, leaning into hard feelings-situations and thoughts, hours of meditation and silence. There is so much wisdom in the quiet. And going to a place where no one knows you, you get to escape from real life for a few days and really focus on YOU. 

 There’s a special kind of magic that happens when you return home from a retreat. It’s not loud or showy. It’s soft… You come back carrying more than your suitcase — you return carrying yourself, just a little more whole, softer and full.

A retreat stretches you open in ways everyday life rarely asks you to. We also don't take the time to sit in silence or any form of meditation. Our society is such a push, do more and faster society. This retreat has reminded me to slow down. To sit with feelings when they arrive. Retreats fill you with something words barely touch.

And then suddenly, I am home again (After a red eye flight 🥱)
In my kitchen.
My favorite mug.
My people and puppies

But I'm not quite the same... I am softer. More patient. More kind. A tad slower with reactions.

The Fullness

It sneaks in quietly — this fullness.
It’s in the slower breaths.
The softer tone I speak with.

The newfound respect I have for your body. (Sitting for hours, crying when I needed to, Speaking to strangers about hard things)
The clarity in my mind.
The way my heart feels stretched wider, open and full.

Retreats give us a chance to return to the parts of ourselves we misplaced in the busy-ness of living. So when you come home, you feel full of warmth, lessons, connection, and calm.

The Gratitude

And then there’s gratitude — So much freakin' gratitude for life, for hardships, for grief and the openness to feel it ALL, and to allow ALL of it.

Gratitude for the conversations that cracked me open, the meals shared with intention and in silence, silence, and the courage it took to say “yes” and show up for myself.

Gratitude for the life I am returning to — the one I can now meet with softer eyes because I’ve remembered who I am underneath everything else.

During this retreat I had an opportunity to attend an Hindu Puja (which we would call a church service) . It was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. The beautiful altars, chanting, flowers, smells and people. All under the outdoor stars. 

My one wish for all the people is to experience the FEELING of coming home to self ♥️